This Means Nothing
by Offcentercompass
Summary: Mature rated SwanQueen story, based after Season 1, episode 7 and Graham's death. Explores a sexual relationship between Regina and Emma, Adult themes, analysing feelings, desires and angst.


So I had this idea about Season 1, episode 7 after Graham's death. I know it isn't an original concept that Emma and Regina began a sexual relationship in the first season, so this is just my take on it. I have tried to keep it true to canon, just with added bits. One Shot – just quite long!

It is basically a loose plot, some character study with hints (and in some places lots) of smut – if that isn't your thing then please stop reading – this is definitely not for you. Obviously it is a Mature story.

Otherwise I hope you enjoy.

All the best – feedback, messages, reviews all gratefully received.

* * *

The knock at the door was unexpected. It was late and Regina had had a rough day, she had been hit and her face hurt, even the ice pack she had applied would only draw out the bruising, much make up would be required to cover the evidence and make herself presentable. Her own hand also stung and when she flexed the fingers she was aware she had struck the other woman, losing her composure first.

She had crushed Graham's heart and it had been in anger, she had been pushed hard, verbally and then physically assaulted and she thought Henry had healed her, made her a better person, but as things started to unravel, she had reverted to her old ways.

When she was hurt she struck out and made sure others hurt and suffered just as much. And Graham had paid the price this time. To make matters worse, there had been no satisfaction in the act, Henry was still distant and Emma Swan was still in town and all she had done was lose a lover.

When she had finally got home, wanting a bath and some painkillers Henry had thrown abuse at her and spent the evening in his room, refusing to eat and tearing at her already battered heart with his harsh words and callused behaviour. She was about done with the day, even the scotch she was drinking wasn't calming her, her mind was racing and raging, images of Emma laying in the dirt and struggling to get up from the floor causing her to smile before the words spoken before the punches were thrown weighted her down. Then there was feeling the imaginary dust of a crushed heart on her hands and continually wiping them on her pant legs. Definitely imaginary, she had washed her hands at least a dozen times since she came home, and yet the feeling lingered against her skin. She was reminded of Lady Macbeth, her hands never being clean of the blood no matter how much she scrubbed.

She needed more drink, she would feel better once the alcohol worked into her system and took the edge off of things, numbed her and shortened the thought process so she drained her glass and stood to refill it as the knocking sounded.

What she didn't expect to find was the blonde, the one who had hit her earlier that day. She was red eyed, her face puffy from the tears and she wasn't quite steady on her feet. Regina looked behind her and saw the car she had pulled up in and from the faint smell of beer Regina shook her head at the reckless behaviour on display, from the Deputy Sheriff no less.

"Miss Swan, what are you doing here?" Regina pulled herself up to her full height, she regretted kicking off her heels as she was still shorter than the blonde and hated to concede any kind of ground with this woman. Her tongue absently swiped at her broken lip and feeling the dried blood she clenched her hands into fists but left them at her sides as the blonde woman didn't appear to be threatening her.

"Um, Regina, yeah, can I come in, I have some bad news to tell you?" Emma wasn't sounding at all sure of herself and her eyes were hollow and haunted. Even her hair seemed to have lost some of its shine.

"I'm not pressing charges Miss Swan, if that is what you have come to ascertain." The brunette responded, not moving her body from the doorway to allow the blonde to enter.

"No, that's not why I'm here. There kind of isn't anyone to report it to now anyway." And Emma's voice cracked as another tear fell down her face.

Regina had expected a snappy retort along the lines of you threw the first punch, placing the blame at her door, but the blonde had missed the opening and seemed distant.

"You had better come in then Miss Swan, but it is against my better judgement, you did assault me earlier." The brunette spun on her heel and held the door open so Emma could enter the foyer.

"And you hit me first, but I haven't been complaining or continually mentioning it." She mumbled but loud enough for Regina to hear her. And there was the defiant and determined Miss Swan, she was just a little slow and buried under her alcoholic haze.

"Miss Swan do you want to be allowed into my house? You seem to be trying very hard to get yourself uninvited." Regina wanted another drink, her head was beginning to throb and dealing with the slightly drunk woman was testing her patience.

"Can we sit down, please Regina?"

Emma sounded broken to the other woman, who usually would have jumped all over her to ensure maximum pain and suffering were inflicted, but she was tired herself and wanted this over quickly so she could retreat to her bed with her painkillers, her scotch and some hazy memories of a field and the stables and a strong pair of arms wrapped tight round her that usually came after a few strong drinks. She kept her retort to herself and just stalked into her house knowing the aggravating blonde would follow, she always did.

As they entered the Den Emma couldn't keep quiet and blurted, "Graham died earlier today. He collapsed at the Sheriff's Station and I tried CPR but Dr Whale said he was DOA at the hospital." Her next breath was ragged and Regina saw her visibly struggle to swallow before she looked away again.

"Oh." Regina tried for surprise and was glad Emma hadn't been able to wait until they were seated, this way she turned her back to the blonde and was able to school her features into the look she wanted, one of shock and sorrow. "That is terrible news. Thank you for telling me personally."

"Yeah well, I though you should know, as the Mayor and because of how close you were." Emma managed to keep most of the distaste from her voice, but her breath hitched as she tried not to openly cry again.

She had been horrified that someone so young and seemingly fit had collapsed on her and she knew when she had been trying to revive him that Graham was gone, beyond help. She had managed to hold it together until the ambulance had taken him away and then she had sobbed uncontrollably for at least half an hour, surrounded by his work items, his dart board, and the smell of him still hung in the air.

When the call came in from the hospital she had answered it as the Deputy Sheriff, pulling herself together by sheer will power and the desire to do her best for her fallen friend. She logged it as required and then decided it was time to close the Station and head to The Rabbit Hole and indulge in a little private remembrance service, one involving several beers and more crying silent tears into her drink. Everything else could wait, Graham had no next of kin, that only left Regina to tell and Emma needed some liquid courage to do that.

That was how she found herself slightly drunk knocking on the Mayoral Mansion door, seeing the bright gold numbers of 108 standing out against the white of the door and the paleness of her hand, and realising she had drunk more than she should have and that her perception was slightly off.

Having done her duty and informed the Mayor that her Sheriff and lover had died Emma just wanted to leave. "I'm sorry to interrupt your evening with such sad news, I'll leave you to your thoughts."

Emma stood in the doorway and swayed slightly as she turned, having to grasp the white wooden frame to steady herself. She took a deep breath and was about to walk away when Regina's firm and strong voice stopped her.

"Miss Swan, even if you hadn't been drinking, you are in no state to be driving. You will not set that example to Henry, you need to be in control to drive. DUI is irresponsible and dangerous, it isn't just your life you risk, you could kill someone else. I demand you give me the car keys, you can collect them in the morning."

"I'll be ok, I just need to pull myself together. It was quite a shock." And her voice cracked as she ran her hand through her hair and then looked at it before clenching it into a fist so her short nails dug into her palm, releasing it as she exhaled, focusing herself with the pain.

"No Miss Swan, you will not be driving. I won't press charges for assault, but I will press charges for a DUI conviction."

"Oh and you'd like that wouldn't you?" Suddenly there was fire in the hazel eyes, Regina realised Emma was broken, teetering on the edge, her self-control swinging wildly from the grief and the failure to save Graham, the alcohol she had consumed doing nothing to help calm the anger and bitterness she felt.

"Locking me up again, telling the whole town I am unfit for this badge, this uniform, telling Henry his real Mother is a drunk." She stalked towards Regina who held her head high and meet the fire filled eyes.

"Despite what you think Miss Swan, I am not doing this for my own personal gain. I just take a very dim view of drink driving, and you are in no state to think clearly, let alone operate a vehicle. Give me the keys."

Emma stuck her hand in her pocket and produced the keys, throwing them at the brunette, who caught them easily, noticing the passion in the eyes and the angry pout and unhappy expression on the blonde's features and realising she had seen the same look from under a long brown fringe earlier that evening before Henry had run upstairs and slammed the bedroom door hard enough to rattle the whole house.

The Mayor hoped with luck the blonde might run away now too, but instead she sighed and sat down, kicking off her boots and making herself at home in the Den. "Now I'm not driving I suppose another drink is out of the question?" She said as she leaned back into the chaise and Regina just stared at the blatant disrespect of the woman. Her headache was getting worse and her nerves were already frayed from the tense day.

The only reason she got the woman a drink was she wanted one herself, one she knocked back while stood at the bar before refilling her own glass and getting one for the blonde.

"To Graham." Emma raised the glass and clinked it against Regina's before turning her head away and wiping her eyes, a wet sniffling noise Regina tried to block out coming from the other end of the chaise.

The brunette sat, her back straight, her legs crossed under the seat and sipped her drink, watching the blonde try to pull herself together. The stupid woman needed to sleep, sober up and find the annoyingly determined attitude she usually exhibited. She should not be here, sitting in Regina's house and drinking her liquor. It was an imposition and the brunette belatedly hoped Henry was asleep and not listening to his drunken mother fall apart.

For his sake she would ensure the annoyingly frustrating woman got home safely and she would return the car keys in the morning, this was her town and as Mayor she had a duty to keep all the citizen's safe, even if she hated most of them and had deliberately cursed them to a cold town in Maine. Currently the blonde was a danger to herself and other people and Regina needed to find the easiest way to get her to leave, ringing her roommate Mary Margaret to collect her was the last resort. Regina would rather deal with a drunken Miss Swan than the doe eyed and insipid school teacher.

As the blonde sipped her drink she reacted to the uncomfortable silence and started to babble. "I'm sorry to intrude on your evening, what were you up to?"

"I tended to the swelling on my face…" Regina began, but saw the look Emma shot her and stopped talking.

The look was one part exasperation and three parts shut up before I swing for you again. Regina decided in the current state Emma was in she might well respond with violence so she cleared her throat and said, "You didn't interrupt anything, I was having a quiet night in."

"Oh." Emma seemed confused. "Is Henry here?"

"Where else would he be Miss Swan?"

"But he's not here?" And Emma looked around the room and out into the foyer.

"No Miss Swan, it is late, he is in bed." Regina realised Emma must be quite drunk to not realise how late it was, the brunette wondered how long she had been drinking at The Rabbit Hole to have lost track of time so completely.

"Oh." Again she seemed lost, and it was awkward, both of them sensing it. Regina watched her quickly drain her drink, moving to stand and saying, "If it's late I'd better be going."

She pulled on her boots easily and stood, giving Regina the empty tumbler, and then walking unsteadily to the stairs. Regina sighed, placing the glass on the bar and following the blonde who was grasping the railing of the stairs and carefully negotiating them. She intended to see her out as a good hostess would. As Emma reached the bottom of the stairs and Regina had been given the opportunity to study the slump in her shoulders she made up her mind and called out.

"Miss Swan…Emma, wait." Regina knew that would filter through, she hardly used the blonde's name.

She turned and Regina watched the fear and confusion cross her pale features before she focused on the brunette's face.

"Go home, this wasn't your fault." And she meant it, even if it was only for Henry, this woman would be in his life whether she wanted her to be or not. And she couldn't have a broken and depressed wreck looking out for her son. Emma needed to find something to anchor herself before she ran away completely and broke Henry's heart or she did something equally reckless and stupid like mowing down a civilian when driving drunkenly, hurting their son in a different way as his hero toppled from the pedestal he had placed her on.

She thought she had wanted to break Emma, thought she wanted her gone, but Henry's words earlier had made her realise the past ten years were gone, there was no getting them back. Loathe as Regina was to admit it, now it was about damage limitation and if she had to share Henry to keep him in her life at all she needed a sane and rational co-parent to deal with.

"Then whose fault is it?" Emma asked and was watching Regina's face, she had managed to pick up on something in the tone the brunette had used.

"It was an accident, you did your best to revive him." The brunette tried to deflect as she felt on the back foot as Emma took a step towards her. She wasn't good at giving comfort, she had only hoped to get through the insecurities she saw warring on the blonde's features and give her the strength to go home and sleep this off.

As Emma's eyes blazed with all the subtle abuse she had taken from Regina and repressed from the moment she had set foot in Storybrooke, Regina realised Emma was as dangerous as she herself was. The words from under the apple tree came back to her, _you don't know what I'm capable of_.

In that instant she felt the stab of fear in her gut as she wondered just what Emma, this wounded version of her, could be capable of. Regina accessed her situation and knew she had the stairs to her side and to her back was the curve of the wall, she had planned on opening the front door and seeing the blonde out, but now they were sharing the same space, eyes locked.

Knowing Emma had been through a lot in her life, Regina did after all have the file she became quiet and watched the blonde. A care system, prison, many different homes, different jobs, an inability to ever settle. A teen pregnancy, the guilt at giving up the child. And in her eyes Regina saw the failure she obviously felt she was and the fear to be a mother, fear of putting down roots, fear of being worthy of a sensible job and the huge stress of taking any responsibility.

Emma was scared and angry, and Regina knew about both of those emotions. If Emma was pushed now she would lash out and the only person in range was Regina. She had seen the blonde's body, knew the strength she had, she wasn't blind and saw the toned abdomen and strong arms beneath the tight white tops Emma often wore, and with the drink and the grief Emma had lost the rational part of herself, she was grasping to whatever she could find to pull herself back from the abyss, but Regina wasn't certain any of it would be enough.

"It doesn't feel like it was enough, it doesn't make me feel anything except anger at myself." She spat at the brunette, pushing herself closer into Regina's space.

"And what would make you feel something?" Regina was struggling to keep her hands at her sides, she wanted to push the blonde away, but she knew this was a dangerous situation. One she usually revelled in, but then she usually had the power and upper hand, now she was trapped and they both knew it despite the brunette's best efforts to remain defiant. She voiced the question confidently and refused to look away from the eyes boring into her.

"I don't know!" And Emma's fisted hand hit the wall beside Regina's head, making her jump despite her best efforts. The Mayor felt her heart hammer in her chest as adrenaline peaked in her system, dousing the alcohol and making her buzz in a completely different way.

"I think I know how Graham felt now, when he said everything was hollow, he felt empty and nothing."

"Graham was sick Emma, he didn't know what he felt. He needed help. You aren't like him." Only Regina really knew the truth of that comment, she had kept Graham's heart, there was no way he could feel. Emma was just confused and hurting and lost, afraid to feel. She had a heart and Regina could practically feel it beating they were that close.

When Emma stepped closer still and kissed her Regina was shocked, her back thudded against the wall and she gasped into Emma's mouth. A mouth that was sucking at her lips, causing the bloodied one to split open and both of them tasted the copper tang. Emma pulled away and immediately looked down at the ground, her mouth smeared with Regina's blood and as Regina licked her lips and the blood away she felt something tighten inside of her. The blood on Emma's lips was like a red flag and even though it should have been a warning, it pulled her in instead. She pulled the blonde back into her space and kissed her back, opening her mouth to deepen things, tasting the scotch on Emma's tongue and enjoying the moaning the contact elicited from the blonde.

Regina knew this was wrong, this was taking advantage of an emotionally unstable woman. One who wasn't sober and who was deeply confused and grieving. But as she started to lose Henry the lines between right and wrong had begun to blur and she wasn't so concerned about what was right. A part of her saw the opportunity that this could be. She could distract the blonde, maybe enough to stop her breaking the curse. And this grounded Emma, she was grasping to feel something and she obviously did in that moment, the moan she allowed to travel up her throat gave more away than she realised.

Regina knew this was twisted, it was Snow White's daughter and even that had its own sick slant. Possessing her enemy's child, carnally, thinking about stamping her mark on her made the brunette smile. A smile that reached her brown eyes and filled them with a gleeful dancing.

She had always believed that the best form of defence was attack, and she was trying desperately to defend her family, keep Henry away from his birth mother, but it wasn't working. Every time Regina pushed her she pushed back, so this possibility, that wasn't so obviously threatening, this could be what worked. It was a much more insidious and devious thing, and that had its advantages. Regina's not quite sober mind was spinning with possibilities, how she could turn this surprising turn of events into a position of strength and gain something from it.

Emma broke the kiss and dissolved into tears against the brunette's neck and she allowed it, gently holding her waist, because this could work. She had played Mother to Snow and offered her comfort and a shoulder to cry on and been the one to listen to the spoilt child vent and moan for years with a false smile painted on her face. This was no different as she held Emma and let her sob. At least Regina knew Emma had exhausted her anger and was becoming placid, pliable.

Regina realised this could be a whole new game to play, one where she manipulated the Saviour and there would be a dirty little secret between the two of them that Emma would never want spoken out loud. This was power, this was unexpected, and this thrilled and buzzed through the Mayor in a way she hadn't felt in years. She thought it was excitement, she knew it was arousal as her body had been pressed flush into Emma's curves, the kiss passionate and the way her body had hummed from the contact was still making her heart pump and her breath ragged. She bit her lip between her teeth to concentrate, she would have to play this carefully, not allowing this to escalate further tonight, easing the blonde away so she didn't feel rejected and wanted more.

"Emma, go home, you need to sleep, you are exhausted." She used the voice she had for years with Henry, a motherly tone, because Emma wasn't an adult at the moment, she was struggling with everything the adult world was throwing at her. She had been brokenly sobbing like a child and now she was creeping back into herself, establishing a shell of protection that Regina had to make sure her words filtered through. She soothingly rubbed her back and then gently ran her hand through the long blonde hair and used it to pull Emma away from her neck. She kissed her cheek gently and watched Emma's eyes calm a little.

"Walk home slowly, the fresh air will do you good."

Emma raised her hand and ran it over the split lip, the gesture soft and sweet. She blotted the blood they had spilled and then nodded slowly, her eyes trusting and open in a way that Regina wanted to laugh at. She didn't, it was important she didn't spook the vulnerable woman she was holding, so she just kept her voice level and her eyes and face clear of emotion.

"Do you understand Emma, will you be ok?" Regina didn't offer to drive, that would raise too many questions and she had also been drinking. She wasn't a total hypocrite.

"Yes. I'll be fine." The blonde was dazed and had a glaze to her eyes, but Regina nodded, knowing she would be able to find her way home. Finding things was an integral part of the annoying blonde woman, it was in her damned genes. She had been able to find a lost son and forgotten parents, a run down loft apartment shouldn't be too difficult even inebriated like she was.

"Good." And Regina's voice was firm as she opened the door and squeezed Emma's hand before ushering her out. Emma took a few faltering steps down the stairs and then seemed to find her feet and her pace evened out and she wandered off distractedly down the path and turned left on the sidewalk, towards the loft apartment she called home.

Regina shut the door and let her face break into a beaming grin. It hurt her bruised and bleeding mouth, her lips stretched painfully so she stopped and just hugged herself and allowing the feeling of satisfaction to fill her. This was going to be fun. After 28 years of mundane, she deserved some fun.

* * *

They avoided speaking of it, Regina called The Sheriff to her office for an update on town security and they were all business. Regina visited the Sheriff Station to discuss funeral arrangements and replacements for Graham and they still skated the kiss.

They argued and fought over Henry, the Diner became tense as they crossed paths and swapped their son between them. Henry still told Emma his Mom was The Evil Queen and Emma nodded, wondering how Evil a woman who had let her cry on her shoulder and soothed her could really be.

After 2 weeks Emma told the mayor she wanted the Sheriff's job and things went south quickly, more harsh words and hoops for Emma to jump through, so she was shocked when she came to work three weeks after the kiss and found a sealed envelope on her desk, addressed to her in Regina's flowing script. She tore it open and found a door key and her mouth went dry. The note was brief:

 _10pm, let yourself in_

And so it began. Late night rendezvous, starting with drinks and heated kisses and touches. Emma wondered how far things would go after the first night where they had practically dry humped each other before Regina had seen how late it was and made some excuse about having to be up early with lots of paperwork to do in the office. Emma was certain it was an excuse, something in the brown eyes was deeply disturbed and Emma caught a glimpse before Regina was able to school her features.

So she had kicked the blonde out, unsatisfied and unbelievably aroused after having Regina's hands running everywhere over her body. The kisses were deep and passionate and Emma had been grinding herself into Regina's thigh with clear intent before the woman had stopped her by flipping their positions. Her touch set Emma's skin on fire, the gentle skim of her fingers as arousing as her probing and pinching. They both let mouths trailed over exposed skin, tongue tasting each other and the sounds of approval, excited exhales, sighs, moans and the way she felt Regina's body respond with perky nipples and flushed skin were stirring a maelstrom inside of Emma where she was barely holding on to her self-control.

She had never been this wanton and desperate with anyone, she didn't know if it was the taste of the forbidden, the secrecy and sneaking around or just that Regina was such a different person when they were alone. She would still smirk and be sarcastic, but the remarks were tempered with looks that spoke of wanting to possess the blonde, they were predatory. Sometimes there were playful winks and salacious licking of lips, which set Emma's stomach flipping with anticipation and expectation, because however much she might detest Regina's personality, she had a figure that was sinfully hot. It was slim, toned in the right places and soft in others giving her beautiful curves, and the Mayor always knew how to dress to flatter. And Emma wanted her. She had felt the pull inside of her since she first saw her open the front door that first night bringing Henry home. Emma was tired of denying it, she had never got what she wanted in her life so this time she was going to reach out and take it. Besides, this was just sex, no-one else needed to know or be involved.

How Graham's death had helped turn their volatile relationship into this Emma still wasn't sure, that night was a mess in her head, emotions and things said and done not completely clear to her. When she tried to think back it was like seeing through murky glass when she tried to examine the events too closely. She guessed it was too much drink and the grief, she had protected herself and pushed the things from that night away because there was pain and hurt buried deep inside her and that night part of her past had reared up, the loss she felt helping her insecurities run round unbidden. She had reached a point where she'd had enough of the past affecting her, messing up her life and she had closed the memories off as a defence mechanism. The fact that this could mess things up was an unwelcome thought so she pushed that away as well, while walking home and trying to ignore how wet her underwear was and that her nipples were still erect and the cold night air caressing them wasn't helping to clear her head at all.

All she was certain was that this was a physical thing, Regina wasn't offering anything other than that. The rules were clear, and they both profited. The arguments, the heated conversations and any negative feelings however consuming were put to one side. They both knew it was a temporary respite to their feud and neither of them wanted anyone else to find out. Emma could do this, she initiated it and now she had to find a way to live with herself and deal with the conflict it created. Denial was always a good start, and had served her well in the past. Pushing feelings away and running from them, immersing herself in the physical and living moment by moment, that is what she'd do. She was certain Regina was doing exactly the same, although it was probably easier for Regina as she failed to build relationships and didn't engage easily with people, so she could probably view the separation much more easily than Emma did.

* * *

She had never been nervous with anyone when it came to sex, and Regina was no different. Emma knew what she wanted and how to take it, it was just Regina was exactly the same, which made them explosive when they came together. Each pushing the other to the very limits. The fact that there were deep seated trust issues at play didn't help, they were unstable, neither wanted to give themselves completely to the other person. There was nothing soft about them, they weren't making love, this was hard, physical, demanding and usually ended up with them both panting from the exertion of a hard fucking, trying to break the other person as much as pleasure them.

As Emma rolled away from the brunette and lay flat on the bed studying the ceiling until her heart calmed, she knew Regina was as breathless and satisfied as she was. There was no touching of each other and soft kissing afterwards, no hand holding or embraces, that would only make it messy and confusing. Emma knew the most she would get from the brunette was a moan when she sucked particularly hard or a guttural groan if she hit a spot just right that the Mayor just couldn't stop escaping. There were no soft and loving words, Emma was in fact waiting to be asked to leave as they had both come several times and it was late in the night and they both had work the following morning.

She was surprised when Regina rolled into her and reached up to turn her face to kiss her again, placing her hand over Emma's and guiding it to her side. Emma caressed the skin as the brunette ran her hand down Emma's face and over her collar bone, stopping when she reached her breast and could roll a nipple between her fingers. Emma had no qualms about moaning, letting the brunette know how she was enjoying the sensations of the sensitive flesh being stroked and stimulated.

Emma sat up slightly and dropped her hand to the brunette's thigh, stroking the outside of the leg and the soft skin there, before she dipped her hand to the more sensitive skin of her inner thigh and ran her fingers up the flesh. She could feel the heat and smell the arousal, and bite hard into Regina's neck before she ran her fingers gently through wet folds and teased the woman's hooded bundle of nerves.

The Mayor dropped her hand from Emma's breast and slowly traced it down her abdomen, feeling the tight muscle tone and the way the blonde's breathing had increased. She bent her head and kissed along her chin and down the column of her neck, licking at the hollow of her collar bone and pulling the skin with the tips of her teeth to nip gently.

They entered each other at the same time, both wet and wanting, spreading themselves for the other woman, becoming a heated and writhing mess as there were hungry kisses and hips and hands thrusting hard. Emma was able to grasp Regina's hip as she felt her tighten round her fingers and ran her hand up the woman's back as she convulsed, burying her hand into short brown locks and pulling her down on top of her. Regina then used her thigh to grind harder into Emma as she moved her hips to meet each thrust and came with a muffled shout of "Yes!" against Regina's neck as the pleasure crashed through her.

She took her leave shortly after that, pulling on her clothes as Regina pointedly got dressed into her silk pyjamas and the hint was taken. She was no longer welcome in the Mayor's bedroom, they were again Sheriff Swan and Mayor Mills, who hated each other and only put up with one another for the sake of their son.

* * *

 _Poison_ The words of Alice Cooper's raspy voice filtered from the radio resting on the filing cabinet at the Sheriff's station. _Poison running through my veins_. Emma smiled ruefully at how apt the lyrics were. She lowered her head to the desk, resting it on her arms. _And I don't wanna break these chains_ was sung in the gravelly tone. What was she doing? Emma wasn't even sure she knew who had started it, let alone why and how it had continued. But it had continued, hot, steamy, passionate sex that they both ignored was happening when in public, but behind closed doors things were beginning to frighten Emma with the intensity they shared. She shook her head at the realisation they were learning the ability to read each other intimately, to know what to do for maximum pleasure, maximum pain and just the right amount of dominance and control so that neither of them knew who had the upper hand. And they kept coming together, kept pushing in some sick twisted game of need. Emma knew it wasn't love, but it was morphing into something more than just physical, the brunette was under her skin, inside her head.

As if the song had summoned her Emma heard the click of high heels on the polished floor of the corridor and exhaled, knowing the Mayor was going to disturb her and that this meeting wasn't going to be an enjoyable one.

In a black pants suit and white blouse that had just enough buttons done up to be appropriate, the brunette walked into the room, her hair perfect so not a strand was out of place and she stood listened to the song before wolfishly grinning at the blonde.

Emma had at least raised her head from the desk so she could lock eyes with her lover and she glared at the brunette with barely disguised hatred. She couldn't understand how the woman aroused her and filled her with desire to touch her and yet made her skin crawl and had the ability to frustrate and annoy her in equal measure. There were times Emma wasn't sure she would caress the woman and kiss her or grasp her throat and try and strangle her. She supposed it added a twisted type of thrill to their late night meetings, because she wasn't sure Regina didn't want to kill her either.

"Sheriff Swan I don't pay you to listen to music." The Mayor was all business, her smile as she entered and her dancing eyes at hearing the words to the song were gone as she had quickly stoned her face so it was unreadable.

"Then turn it off. I was done with it anyway." The way the lyrics had hit close to home, Emma had been close to smashing the damned thing herself.

Regina's face broke into a wide smile at the tone the blonde used, before the politian's mask slipped back into place and she moved across to the filing cabinet, knowing Emma's eyes were trained on her hips and her ass, covered in the tight black fabric and she authoritatively snapped off the radio so the room was quiet. She spun on her heel and leaned back, rolling her shoulders slightly so the blonde's eyes were drawn to her cleavage on display before she snapped her eyes away and found something to fiddle with idly on her desk.

"What can I do for you today?" Emma looked up and at Regina's face, meeting her eyes, which were hard and unyielding.

"Have you found Katherine yet?"

"You know I haven't, I'd have told you if there were any developments." Emma let out an exasperated sigh.

"Then perhaps you should be out looking, rather than listening to aging 80's rock stars sing badly?" Regina was demeaning her, coming to her place of work and trying to tell her how to do her job.

The blonde snapped, her patience already thin, "Don't tell me how to do my job Regina, I'm doing my best here."

"Then maybe your best isn't good enough. I did try and give the job to someone else, I had my concerns over your ability right from the start."

"I can do the job of Sheriff, this is just a complex case." Emma huffed at the brunette, trying to keep her temper in check. She did stand from the desk so that the Mayor wasn't looking down at her, which gave Emma some feeling they were on even ground again and allowed her to breathe a little easier.

"She is my friend Sheriff, I am just concerned. Please keep me updated."

"Of course Madame Mayor." And Emma sighed as Regina turned and left the station, her heels clicking back down the corridor. Emma sank back into her chair before remembering she was listening to the radio before she had been rudely interrupted. She sauntered over to the filing cabinet trying to push away the bad mood dealing with the Mayor always left her with. She'd turn up the radio loud and maybe sing and dance a little and be ok.

Emma turned the radio back on and wished she hadn't, Tina Arena's voice sank out loud and clear, _I'm in chains, I never thought this is where I'd be, Never thought this could happen to me_ and Emma spun the dial to find a different station, something that wasn't torturing her soul and reminding her of the bad decisions she kept making.

Maria McKee and her beautiful voice hitting the high notes of Show Me Heaven rang out and that was it for the radio as Emma yanked the thing from the wall socket and slammed it into the floor. She then proceeded to kick it across the room for good measure, watching bits of it disintegrate as it flew into the wall opposite. Heaven, it was laughable. Emma knew she was probably going to rot in hell for the small pieces of Heaven Regina kept giving her. She was thinking she kept selling her soul to the devil every time she let herself into the mansion and into the brunette's bed, but she kept going back because it was Heaven, just for a few hours everything else became indistinct as she focused on her body and her needs, selfishly taking her pleasure and getting a sense of happiness and satisfaction for the brief time it lasted.

A pair of deep brown eyes watched through a window at the near meltdown on display, a smirk gracing the full red lips, even as a part of her mind, a very small part that she immediately shut up, told her this would lead to trouble and that the violence was related to their inappropriate relationship and continuing to push at it, at the blonde, would end badly for them both.

* * *

It was late and Emma had finally had enough of tossing and turning and being unable to sleep. She threw on her sweatpants and hoodie and decided the late night air would help settle her and the run would work out her muscles and relax her enough to sleep.

She had the brunette woman on her mind. The one who pushed her buttons and made her angry and annoyed during the day and then pushed even harder, even more buttons during the night. _Bloody Regina_ , Emma thought. How had she managed to fall into her bed? And why, now she was almost certain the woman was framing Mary Margaret, could Emma not be strong and stay away? Emma knew she was betraying her best friend, however she knew that this secret would stay between her and Regina and as long as Mary Margaret never found out, perhaps that would be ok. She knew it was a weak excuse, but Emma had always struggled with the hard decisions, often going with what was easy rather than what was right. And there wasn't much harm in this, it wasn't like they had a future and were making plans, it was sex, pure and simple. Well simple, nothing she did with Regina was very pure.

Emma might have worried slightly more if she knew that on the odd occasion she had fallen asleep in the brunette's bed she had been studied, the rise and fall of her chest observed, her relaxed features occasionally traced with a delicate finger. And as she closed her eyes and threw her head back against the pillows during the throws of orgasm, her face was watched by big brown and beautiful eyes, ones that were quickly masked when she opened her eyes and then showed nothing but confusion once she left the room.

But Emma pushed it all away as she ran, letting the pound of her feet on tarmac match the beat of her heart and she pulled cool air into her lungs, letting her mind relax with the repetitive action she was pushing her body and legs through.

* * *

When Emma had walked into the Mayor's office just after 5pm she knew she wouldn't be well received.

"Miss Swan, I have to get home to Henry, there is a dinner to cook, not that you'd know anything about that with your permanently reserved table at the Diner."

"Can we talk?"

"It is after 5pm, surely any Town business can wait until tomorrow now?" Regina had some files in her arms as she tried to walk towards the door.

"It isn't about the Town." Emma stood in her way.

"Henry?"

"Us." And Emma let the word hang in the air.

"Miss Swan, there is no Us." Regina tried to walk round the blonde, who placed her hand on the brunette's arm only to have it shaken off.

The Mayor continued, "Get out of my way, how dare you come to my place of work and accost me! You are taking liberties you are not entitled to."

"Regina I just want to know where we stand."

"We don't stand anywhere Miss Swan, and if you keep pushing at me you'll destroy the limited amount of civility that does exist between us."

"Ok, I'll leave." The blonde conceded, "But we do need to talk about this."

Regina stalked up close to her face, her eyes blazing fire and her jaw set hard so her words came out through gritted teeth, "There is nothing to talk about Miss Swan. This is not something to be discussed. I thought you understood that." And the brunette stormed away leaving Emma watching her retreating back with mixed feelings. The one Emma was trying hard to deny being lust, the Mayor's face being so close and the passion she exuded had her heartrate increasing and her mouth felt dry.

* * *

Emma sent the Mayor a text message and told her she was coming over, it wasn't a debate and she had a key.

The blonde was surprised to find Regina in her study with the files she had brought home earlier that day.

"I might ask for that back" the Mayor nodded at the key in Emma's hand, "If you can't be trusted to respect boundaries." Her voice and face were neutral, Emma wasn't sure whether she was joking or masking real anger with her indifference.

"And what boundaries are we talking about? Personal ones that don't exist anymore because we have managed to fuck our way through them and throw them out of the window?" Emma felt brave.

"The ones where you respect my authority, my position and my space." The brunette's eyes sparked, she was angry, Emma should have guessed, it was almost the standard default emotion with the brunette. Emma didn't understand how someone could be so angry all the time and still function. But it only made the sex hotter, because they both fought and carried the intensity from the arguments with them, watching it transition into heated passion, igniting a fire in both of them, one that kisses and plunging fingers were able to calm but never put out.

"Oh but Regina, that is what turns you on, when I'm disrespecting your authority, your position and getting in your space." And Emma licked her lips and stalked forward, the look in her eyes flashing dangerously as she grasped the brunette's chin and crashed their lips together.

The Mayor pulled her face away and hissed out through her lips, "Don't presume to know what I like Miss Swan, there is nothing between us but sex."

"Oh I know that, you wouldn't be my choice for a relationship, unhinged and volatile doesn't do it for me." The remark was cutting, and the brunette pursed her lips and yanked the blonde's hand away from her face.

"And yet you seem to have no problem climbing into my bed desperate and wanting and leaving it quite satisfied. Something about me obviously _does_ do it for you." And the brunette smirked.

"So this means nothing to you?" Emma asked, leaning her body forward as she put her hands on the arm of the chair the Mayor was sitting in and trapped her, watching her face for any sign of emotion.

"Nothing at all. Except for the obvious, you are quite skilled at reading my body, much better than Graham was."

The reminder of Regina's past lover was like a knife to Emma's heart and she looked away to compose her thoughts. Something nagged at the back of her mind and she decided to go all in with the conversation.

"So if Graham wasn't that good a lover why did you fight for him, what is it with you? Can you really not share and let anyone go?"

"I don't like to lose, Miss Swan, and I'm very possessive of what I view as mine."

"And he was yours? I don't believe that, he was a person with free choice. And by the same definition do you think I am yours? Am I just a replacement for him?"

"We don't discuss what this is for this very reason Miss Swan. You won't like the answers. You are not a replacement, you are not mine. That would indicate feelings were involved. I cared for Graham, I had known him a long time, you on the other hand are a new addition who happens to be good in bed. There is nothing deeper than that going on here and with this topic of conversation you are beginning to test my patience and I am questioning whether the benefit's you bring me are worth the aggravation."

"You really are cold. Sometimes I wonder why I come here."

"And yet you continue to do so, maybe it is to help you feel something, to distract you from the mundane existence that is your life? Whatever reason it is, it is no concern of mine. Decide what you want Miss Swan, I have files that require my attention and you are taking up valuable time with your indecision."

She was answered with a hard and possessive kiss, one that involved teeth nipping at lips and Emma's tongue insistently slipping into her mouth.

She grasped the blonde's hips and was tempted to push her away, as a warning what happened if she stopped following the rules but instead she was undoing the buckle and then the button of the jeans and pushing them away from the blonde's strong thighs, knowing she was going to take the woman hard and as Emma spread her legs as far as she could with her pants pooled round her ankles, Regina knew the other woman wouldn't mind.

She was wet and ready as Regina moved her fingers through her folds, and wasted no time before slipping two fingers inside of her. She felt the exhale against her neck as Emma gasped, not quite expecting her to be so aggressive or enter her so quickly.

She set up a rapid rhythm, thrusting deep into the younger woman, who just took each thrust, meeting it by bracing herself with her arms against Regina's office chair so she was able to move her hips into the rough action. Regina never moved her eyes from the blonde's face, a face she could sometimes see her son in, but which didn't make her hate it any less. She had meant it when she said it was just sex, it meant nothing, because to mean something Miss Swan would have to mean something to her, and she didn't. She was a sex toy, being used in a way that was like glorified masturbation. And Regina was only knuckle deep in her now to show her that very fact. Even the Mayor wasn't stupid enough to believe that lie she was telling herself. She was knuckle deep because this game was getting out of hand and she had enjoyed sex with Emma Swan much more than she had thought was possible. She wanted the other woman to touch her, so she was rushing Emma's orgasm, taking her roughly so she could be flipped and have the blonde enter her and push her to her own satisfaction.

The brunette ran her thumb over Emma's clit and grasped her face with her free hand pulling her closer.

"Oh god Regina." Emma breathed out, as she felt herself begin to peak, her stomach tightened and the pounding hand between her legs didn't let up. "So close." She knew her face was being studied, for what she didn't know, because as her body shuddered and her legs became weak, the only thing on display would be unadulterated pleasure. She couldn't stop herself from leaning forward and gently kissing the brunette, lips skimming the full red ones. As she pulled away something in Regina's eyes flashed hungrily and instead of pulling away she deepened the kiss and dropped her shaking hands to the brunette's blouse and began to undo the buttons, pulling the fabric from her pants to allow her hands access to the soft skin underneath.

As Regina grasped the edge of the desk and her hips rode back into Emma's hand, pushing her body into the orgasm she needed she muttered from her kiss swollen lips and into the wood of the desk, "This means nothing."

Feeling the other woman contracting round her fingers, her thigh muscles clamped round her hand the blonde smiled and leaned over her. "Of course not. Nothing at all." But there was a smile and a hint of sarcasm in her tone as she bit into the brunette's exposed shoulder and enjoyed the gasp and the jerk of her hips from the woman under her that accompanied the action.

* * *

Emma knew what she wanted from a lover, she had had several when she was younger who were selfish and she knew now to fight for her own pleasure and her own release. Her past involved mostly men, but the odd woman, some experienced and some not so, so Emma had taken to being assertive and demanding in bed. She had been with Regina often enough to feel confident about what the other woman needed and wanted.

Tonight was no different as Emma swaggered into the bedroom, she had the spare key and had let herself in, knowing she would be welcomed into her lover's bed. The harsh words from earlier at the Sheriff's Station as they argued over Mary Margaret and her rights were forgotten as Emma threw her hoodie to the floor and Regina put the book she had been reading down.

"You took your time." Was the only comment the brunette made.

"I'm not at your beck and call." The blonde threw back at her.

"And yet you are here." The brunette said with a quirk to her eyebrow and a smug smile adorning her face.

"I'm here for my own reasons." And they both knew exactly what they were. Emma had ripped the sheet in her fisted hand the last time they had been together as Regina had used a strap on to fuck her from behind until her body had completely fallen apart, her legs had collapsed unable to bear her weight and her voice was hoarse from crying out her pleasure into the pillow. She had lost consciousness for a few moments from the strength of the orgasms that had ripped through her and even then the brunette hadn't let up, she had flipped her and used her tongue to suck her tender clit and push her over the edge a final time, with Emma unable to do anything than lay there and let her, gasping at the sensations and how overly sensitive she was, the brunette spreading her and licking her with slow and teasing strokes of her tongue until she felt the blonde's body shudder to an exhausted completion.

Neither of them wanted to admit the strap on had been an unspoken agreement that once the bedroom door closed they had found an uneasy level of trust between each other. Neither of them wanted to think about how Regina had known to be gentle, how she had wanted to please the younger woman with her touch, or that that side of her existed in complete juxtaposition to the hard and aggressive Mayor.

Emma was just grateful she had been allowed to stay in the bed after promising to buy a new sheet and had managed to sleep a few hours to recover some kind of strength. She didn't think she would have been able to walk on her legs, they were shaky and her whole body felt delicately balanced, muscles strained yet warm and relaxed. All Emma had known as she was wrapped in the satisfied afterglow and the expensive sheets of Regina's bed caressed her skin was that she knew better than to question the brunette on her motives. They would not have a conversation because they were invested in this for pleasure, that was all and any actions that spoke to the contrary were to be ignored.

Emma leaned over the brunette and pushed her back into the pillow as she kissed her, swiping her tongue over the full lips and Regina immediately opened her mouth to allow Emma's tongue into her mouth. She quickly straddled the brunette and had her hands undoing the silk pyjama jacket so she could push the fabric down the brunette's arms and cup her full breasts.

Emma rolled the erect nipples between her thumb and forefinger and enjoyed the way Regina arched into her touch, silently demanding more.

Clothes were quickly shed until they were both naked and Emma took a nipple into her mouth and bit down, soothing with a swipe of her tongue. She loved the taste of Regina, her skin was soft and Emma loved to run her mouth over it, sucking hard enough to leave red marks, but the best taste was most definitely her arousal, Emma loved running her tongue round swollen lips before either entering the woman with her tongue, dipping to take a taste or sucking greedily on her clit. There would be time for that later as the brunette was flipping them and entering Emma with one finger to tease her, before adding another as Emma bucked her hips to try and find more pressure.

Emma had finally found an equal in the brunette, someone who could give and take in equal measure and liked it hard, but could be soft when it was called for. She allowed Emma to be herself and the inhibition was exhilarating to the blonde, adding depth to the satisfaction she felt when her body gave in to the brunette's skilled ministrations. And give in she did as Regina finally stopped the teasing and plunged a third finger inside of her and thrust hard, the heel of her hand brushing against the blonde's clit and Emma felt her whole body vibrate with the impending release before Regina kissed her and swallowed the moan of delight as Emma grasped the woman's shoulder and rode her hand, hips jerking as the brunette stilled inside her and allowed Emma the control to ride out her high.

Emma grasped the brunette round the waist and pulled her flush so she could roll them, her thigh between the brunette's, pressing into her heated centre and feeling the moisture and arousal pooling, spreading along her leg as she moved them and Regina twitched her hips to try and increase the contact, to rub more of herself against Emma's thigh. As Emma kissed down the brunette's body, dipping her tongue into a navel and then skimming her fingers in a feather light touch up trembling thighs she breathed in the heady scent of arousal, the smell of sex that filled the room that caused a tightening low in her stomach. She wanted to taste the Mayor, wanted to pleasure her as much as she had wanted her own orgasm.

Emma recognised that for the problem it was because she was meant to only be giving to receive. She could try and convince herself this was to dominate, to possess the brunette, but that wasn't why she wanted to please the woman below her. She was beginning to get an unhealthy addiction to the older woman, enjoying the way her body behaved when she came, liking the way Regina held her head between her legs, or raked her finger nails down her back, sometimes biting into the blonde's shoulder as she fell over the edge. And Emma found herself watching her face when she very occasionally threw her head back in a silent scream if Emma kept pushing and didn't give her time to recover, pushing her into one orgasm followed by another. And smiling at how beautiful the brunette looked, her body glorious as her breathing and heartbeat finally calmed.

She was only going to tease the woman with her mouth, spreading her open and gently lapping her tongue over the sensitive skin exposed. She just wanted a taste and would finish her off with her hand, knowing the Mayor would come quickly once Emma entered her and started to rub tight circles over her clit with her thumb. It was a familiar rhythm Emma had discovered gave the brunette the most pleasure, so she teased the woman with slow tongue strokes and gentle tweaks to her nipples, open mouthed kisses to her thighs until she knew from the jerking hips and hands that tried to grasp at her shoulders and pull her into a kiss that Regina wanted more from her, wanted her to use her hands and she obliged, loving the tight and wet feeling that engulfed her fingers.

As Regina came, her body arching off the bed as Emma's capable fingers danced inside her and against her clit she bit down on her lip to stop a satisfied groan escaping and the action obscured the smile threatening to grace her features. Her eyes did shine and light up displaying her pleasure and she pulled the blonde down on top of her to hide her face in the blonde's neck, breathing in the scent of her hair and wrapping her arms round her lithe frame. She refused to whisper anything to the blonde, she never said her name during, didn't praise her actions, although it was blatantly obvious she enjoyed herself as her body crested, quaked and shuddered above and below the other woman time and again.

Regina was surprised Emma was as good a lover as she was, and she was surprised at the feelings the blonde was able to pull from her. Regina had assumed that Emma liked men, she had obviously conceived Henry naturally so when Regina had first taken her to bed she wasn't expecting Emma to take any control or know how to please a woman. She had been blown away with the passion Emma shown, the skilful way she had touched Regina to tease her and hold her on the edge of climax, before giving in and pushing her over the edge in a variety of different ways and positions. It had been a revelation and Regina found she had to give respect to the blonde.

And that was all it was, she kept telling herself. It was respect and admiration, and she only studied her when she fell asleep to see if she could see traces of Snow or Henry in her features. It had nothing to do with anything deeper. Her heart was fractured and broken, if she couldn't have Daniel she would pass her time with distractions, but that was all Emma was.

And if Emma thought anything else was going on between them she kept that to herself, knowing they didn't talk about this, what is was or where it was going. It was convenient for them both and would continue until one of them ended it. More and more Regina thought they were on borrowed time but she just ignored that little voice, that part of her that whispered to her after Emma left late at night or even early in the mornings that she'd miss her when this went wrong. It never stopped whispering for long, often coming back and saying this was bound to go wrong, shattering spectacularly rather than fizzling out naturally, because everything Regina ever touched and enjoyed always imploded, making a mess and hurting everyone including Regina.

Regina prayed Henry would be spared in the fall out from this, he didn't deserve to be caught up in this twisted adult game and she sighed. Maybe it would be best if she stopped things, but as she felt Emma's heartbeat against her chest and Regina found she was running her lips up the blonde's neck, she knew that it wouldn't be today she ended it.

* * *

Emma came to tell her she was leaving, they were stood in the entrance hall of her house, she had been baking and the smell of apples and sweetness was in the air.

When Emma said she would come back to visit Henry and that this was a compromise Regina would have to accept, Regina wondered which bed Emma was planning on sleeping in when she returned, but she didn't ask the question. If Emma wanted to end this then Regina was in no position to demand anything. It was very good, but very casual sex. Nothing else. Regina had even been thinking about ending it herself, hence the baking.

"Miss Swan, something for the journey?" and she dished up the turnover. Regina had left it up to fate to decide what to do with her Emma Swan problem, because she was feeling more and more a yearning to hold the woman in her arms afterwards. The nagging desire to kiss her slowly and tenderly as they both came down from the orgasmic high. She watched her cell phone for text messages and was frequently distracted in the office, unable to concentrate on her paperwork. Emma Swan was worming her way in to Regina's thoughts, the way she had managed to burrow into her son's heart and that just could not be allowed to happen.

She was firm in her belief, she did not want the anything from other woman. She had always been able to keep the sex separate with Graham, it was a physical need that he satisfied. Regina didn't know what the difference was here, the sex was better with Emma, but that shouldn't mean the blonde plagued Regina's thoughts. It was just a better conclusion to the nightly activities, activities which meant she usually came several times over, often having to stop a scream resounding round the house by muffling it with a pillow. It was just good sex. A distraction from the weakening curse and the hurt her son was causing her.

So if Emma ate the turnover, well there was no problem. Emma might throw the pastry away, fate always played with Regina's plans and messed them up, but the blonde was still leaving. Either way, Emma wasn't going to be frequenting the Mayor's bed and she was relieved.

There was no regret at all as she shut the door to her ex-lover, she didn't inhale the scent of her shampoo or her perfume that hung in the air after she shut the door and she didn't rest her head against the wood and find herself wishing things were different.

She walked back up the stairs to the kitchen and poured herself a drink. Everything was as it should be. The bitter smile didn't reach her eyes, eyes that might even have been tearful had she any tears left inside of her.


End file.
